Unsafe at Any Size

Feh.  I went to the doctor today and got a good bill of health, much congratulations on my weight loss.  So why am I blue?

Because I wanted a letter for Weight Watchers saying my current weight was the right one for me, so I could go on maintenance.  I’m on maintenance anyway at this point.

But alas, my doctor confounded my plans with science.  Saying it was great I’m no longer in the obese category, but that every pound I carry above my BMI has been clinically shown to increase health risk, if only for more risk of injury from a fall.  He said he would write me a letter for Weight Watchers but was very down on the idea.

I suppose I should have been more forceful and emphasized this was for Weight Watchers… so I could go on maintenance.  I’ve been going (and paying my 40 bucks) for 2 and a half years, and it’s been very successful for me.  Hell, I’ve lost 110+ pounds on Weight Watchers.

Maybe I should just quit the program at this point, since I think I’ve gotten what I’m going to get out of it.

Sigh.

I’m tired of forever losing.

The underlying assumption in the national debate on health care is that everyone needs health insurance because sooner or later, everyone needs health care.  Even if we personally don’t need health care, we are supporting those who do.

But what of those people who don’t believe they need health insurance because they don’t need health care?  In a recent article in the Contra Costa Times, a Danville couple maintains they don’t need insurance because hey, they’re healthy.  In the past five years, Lori and Gordon Townsend haven’t seen a doctor, and they see no reason why they should support people who do:

Gordon says he lost 30 pounds and brought down his blood pressure by using the nutritional supplements he now sells. Lori says she lost 25 pounds and solved her thyroid problems.

The couple said they see no reason why they should have to subsidize people who are obese, are chain smokers or who make other bad health decisions.

“People expect that they have a right to health care in the form of subsidized medical services, but they need to perceive that they have a personal responsibility to control their own portion of that cost,” Gordon said.

What about those people who make the bad health decisions to get injured or get cancer?  What if that happens to them?  “We’re going to play the odds and not focus on that,” he said. “We’ve simply decided to accept that risk, because it’s minor.”

So there you go.  Health insurance, and by extension health care, is for the fatties and the smokers.  By losing weight, they’ve inoculated themselves against injury and disease.  And the risk of cancer or other chronic illness?  By accepting the risk, do they also plan to go bankrupt to provide their own care?  Do they plan to forgo health care if they can’t afford it?  Or will they ask all of the irresponsible fatties and smokers and others who make bad health decisions to help them when times are tough?  Maybe they’ll just take more of those nutritional supplements that they sell.

Losing weight can improve many people’s health.

But weight loss is not a magic bullet.  Yes, fat people will get sick and die.  But so will thin people.  More smokers get lung cancer than non-smokers, but non-smokers get lung cancer, too.  Certainly, we should do everything we can to be and stay healthy.  But let’s not delude ourselves that misfortune is reserved for those who make “bad health decisions.” 

And let’s not blame people who get sick or develop chronic conditions.  We are all fallible humans and we will all die one day.  And as human beings, we should support one another, if for no other reason than because we’ll need that support, too.

I used to LOVE Halloween, and what fat kid didn’t?  A license to eat all the candy you could get!  I would strategize how to get the most candy, from the streets I’d love to visit to the costume I’d wear (maximum mobility!).  Getting mugged by the bigger kids for your candy was always a risk, so  a firm handle on the candy bag was essential.  Oh, and that bag?  As big as it could be.  None of these dinky plastic pumpkins.  A pillowcase didn’t have any Halloween decorations, but it couldn’t rip and could hold a LOT of candy, even by my standards.

Strangely enough, my mother didn’t limit our candy consumption; perhaps she was going by the theory that you let them eat as much as they want and they’ll get sick of it.  HAH!  Maybe I did have a tolerance level, but I never managed to hit it.

My candy was gone within days.  First the fun sized chocolates, next the miniature chocolates.  Next, the pseudo chocolates (Milk Duds).  Finally we got down to the crappy candy like Nekkos and Smarties.  Even though I didn’t really like them, I ate them anyway.

Then I tried to mooch from my sister, who of course ate candy like a sensible person.  It didn’t seem that sensible to me, because if I didn’t get into it, the dog would.  What a waste, or so I thought at the time.

N9wadays, I’m not so scared of the costumes, unless you count being scared by how much I’m going to spend on my kids’ costumes (yikes!).  I’m not scared of the bigger kids stealing my candy, but of them putting out awesome candy on their desks.  And am I going to be one of those moms who steals candy from her kids’ stash?  Um…. I plead the fifth.

How bad is all that candy?  Hungry Girl has a great list of the calories/point values of all your Halloween treats, from blechy smarties to miniature chocolates to fun sized.  Who knew that a Reese’s peanut butter pumpkin had 4 points?!?

What’s your strategy for Halloween?

I don’t consider myself a runner, as I don’t do it with enough consistency.  I’m not sure you would call what I’m doing running, anyway.  It looks like running, it certainly feels like running, but the speed I achieve… I’d probably be faster walking.

But I found a pair of running shoes at a local store on sale (hooray!) but still very expensive (boo!) and felt if I was going to spend that much money on shoes I should give them a go.

The route I run generally has lots of garbage from the local high school; I could probably make a buck or two picking up the cans they leave around.  But this time, I found twenty five dollars just lying on the ground near a Funyons bag.  No claimants around, so those dollars offset my shoe indulgence.

So, even when you’re slow, it can pay to run!

Last week was Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of repentance.  Not only are you supposed to spend the entire day at temple praying, you are supposed to fast.  And not just abstain from food-from water, too.

Needless to say, I’ve never been into the fasting thing.  When I was nursing the boys, I had a good reason not to (you’re not supposed to fast when you are pregnant or nursing).  But they’ve been weaned for a few years now, so I no longer have that as an excuse reason.

This year, my husband Joel decided he would fast.  And so I decided I was going to fast, too.

Sort of.

The more I thought about fasting, the more I realized how anxious just the idea made me.  Even contemplating a liquids-only fast made me antsy. I had coffee that morning because I reasoned that if I didn’t have my caffeine I’d just be headachy and hungry and cranky.  At least with coffee, I’d eliminate the headache part.

But along came 2 pm, and I gave in.  I suppose if I were more religious I would have been more committed and stuck with it; I’d probably also still be at temple, too, where there was no temptation.

Still, I realized that I am genuinely afraid of being hungry-when I live in a land where it’s nearly impossible to avoid food.  When I have enough in the pantry and in my booty to last me many weeks.

You’d think after losing 112 lbs I’d have plenty of practice with being hungry, but I’ve worked hard to ensure I’m never truly hungry by planning obsessively, and drinking coffee and green tea when I think I’m getting hungry.  Then there is the massive amount of gum I’ve been chewing, my pacifier.

Today, I’m practicing being hungry.  I had a large lunch: soup, green salad and spelt salad.  I had a big breakfast, too.  I was “hungry” two and a half hours after eating lunch.

I’m letting myself experience that hunger.  And I’m working on telling myself it’s ok to be hungry.  I’ll let you know if it works.