Unsafe at Any Size

I took my dilemma to my Weight Watchers leader Kathy about what should be my goal weight. I was feeling very angry and despondent because if I tried to meet the goal my doctor recommended it wouldn’t be my goal, and I’m not convinced it would be a goal based on my health.

Although I know my doctor was making a recommendation based on the research out there, it felt strangely parental.  Being a parent, I know how often I make rules ostensibly for the good health of my kids, but probably seem rather arbitrary to them.

I laid out my options, and I was surprised by her response.  She said that Weight Watchers tells leaders to ask what feels right for you.  She said the goals are based on the medical guidelines, but members can always set their own goals.  They require the support of their doctor in those goals, probably so they don’t get sued, but ultimately the goal is up to the member.

Now, I’ve always deeply suspicious of commercial outfits that are supposed to help people lose weight.  Most of it is so opportunistic, preying on people’s insecurities to make a buck at best and causing physical harm at worse.  And at the end, people just end up gaining back the weight and feeling worse about themselves.

You would think an outfit like Weight Watchers would be strict about when you could go for free, if they ever let you go for free at all.  But at least at the meeting I’ve been attending the focus has been on healthy living and helping people reach their own goals.

Weight loss was never my primary goal; it was in service to a healthier, more mobile life.  I hadn’t been interested in dieting in the past because it seemed futile (most people who lose weight regain it) and frankly, dull.  Who wants to be one of those people who obsesses about the cookie she did (or didn’t) eat?

I’ve met my goal for myself.  I feel good, and I’m taking good care of myself.  I might lose more weight, but that would be the result of the lifestyle I lead, rather than a goal in itself.

So, against doctor’s orders, I am setting my own goal.  And I’m going to find a medical person who will write me the letter so I can be lifetime at Weight Watchers.  I’m not trying to “cheat” the system; I want the support to continue the changes I’ve made, and I think I’ve got a lot to contribute to others.

Now I’ve got to find me a doctor to write a letter!

In my last post,  I was in the doctor’s office, wearing a paper gown, arguing with my doctor about what my “ideal” weight should be for Weight Watchers purposes.

Here’s the deal: with Weight Watchers, you pay to attend meetings until you reach a weight-loss goal.  That goal can be anything in the normal category for BMI or a goal agreed to by your dr.  Your dr needs to write a letter saying that is your goal weight, and you can go on what’s called Lifetime or Maintenance at WW.

After losing 110 lbs, I am still not at what the BMI designates as “normal” for my height; I’m about 15 lbs above that.  But I’m happy where I’m at.  I have achieved all of the goals I set for myself in joining Weight Watchers.  I have alleviated the pain in my joints; I am very active; I have inspired my husband to take better care of himself; I am setting a better example for my kids.

I might decide that I’d like to lose more weight in the future to meet some new goals.  But for now, I’m happy.  I’m getting used to this new body, which still surprises me.  I’m happy with the changes I’ve made, and don’t see making more at this time.

So I tried to tell my doctor this.  But again, it’s hard to disagree with someone when he’s clothed and you’re wearing a paper gown.  He argued that even though I’m happy, even though I’m healthy, the research shows better health when you are at the normal BMI for your height.  Even if everything else is good, every extra pound increases your risk of injury from a fall, making you more top heavy.

I pointed out that I am shaped like a Weebil, which, if you’ll recall, wobble but won’t fall down.  He dismissed this argument, saying the extra weight isn’t in my feet.  Um, ok.  I can pinch an inch (hey, we’re on a roll with old tv ads!), but it’s all loose skin.

In the end, he said he’d write me a letter BUT… he really won’t.  So here are my choices:

1. Try to lose 15 lbs so I meet the BMI requirement and can go to Weight Watchers as lifetime.
2. Don’t try to lose 15, continue going to Weight Watchers as a normal paying member at $40/month
3. Stop going to Weight Watchers
4. Find another doctor

Next Post: My conversation with my Weight Watchers leader, and my decision.

Feh.  I went to the doctor today and got a good bill of health, much congratulations on my weight loss.  So why am I blue?

Because I wanted a letter for Weight Watchers saying my current weight was the right one for me, so I could go on maintenance.  I’m on maintenance anyway at this point.

But alas, my doctor confounded my plans with science.  Saying it was great I’m no longer in the obese category, but that every pound I carry above my BMI has been clinically shown to increase health risk, if only for more risk of injury from a fall.  He said he would write me a letter for Weight Watchers but was very down on the idea.

I suppose I should have been more forceful and emphasized this was for Weight Watchers… so I could go on maintenance.  I’ve been going (and paying my 40 bucks) for 2 and a half years, and it’s been very successful for me.  Hell, I’ve lost 110+ pounds on Weight Watchers.

Maybe I should just quit the program at this point, since I think I’ve gotten what I’m going to get out of it.

Sigh.

I’m tired of forever losing.